My inlaws have this one. Fish and darwin with legs
http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/450/b2214_450.jpeg
“I express my individualality with mass produced bumper stickers”
“Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an ###hole.”
“My Labrador Retriever is smarter than your Honor Student”
A popular one around here at one time:
“Don’t tell my mom I work in the oilfield. She thinks I play piano in a wxxxxhouse”.
I always liked “My gamer fragged your honor roll student”
sex is like pizza: when it’s good, it’s really good, and when it’s bad it’s still kinda good
I’ve been in emergency field medicine for several years and came up with this - “EMS: Fighting Darwinism every day. You’re welcome.” It’s a nice way of saying, ‘saving stupid people from themselves’
“What if the whole world farted at once?”
“Fat people are harder to kidnap.”
“If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk”
Seen in a Port Townsend cafe :
“Buckle Up. It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.”
My Other Car Is A Piece Of Crap Too
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.
Got milkweed?
Seen years ago in Kansas City: “I’m Hung Like Einstein And Smart As A Horse”.
Decades ago I was timing my way up a hill on Dolores Street in San Francisco in my 6 volt Beetle. At the top of the hill was a brand new Jaguar coupe. I was stunned to see this new beauty had a bumper sticker. I sped up to view it, knowing I would have to use my clutch more at the top of the hill’s stop sign to read the bumper sticker. As I closed in I could read, “Driven to Work”. I laughed and still laugh 20 years later.
i never really understood this one until i became a mom: “insanity is hereditary – you get it from your kids!”
(written in elaborate olde English lettering:) Eschew obfuscation
“The more I know about women, the better I like my truck”