It sounds to me like you have your mind made up. If I were in your shoes, I might stay away from the new Odyssey. However, I might consider a used one if it checks out and doesn’t have any of the issues sited by the folks you mention.
It’s quite possible the source of the vibration is something other than VCM. Honda owners can have unrealistic expectations. Many of us love our Hondas so much, we boast about them, and Honda has cultivated its reputation based on reliability and longevity, rather than managing expectations. Also, many disgruntled Honda owners are quick to blame Honda for behavior of dealership personnel.