Flex plate: what does it do? why fail?

The flexplate in an automatic is the same part as a flywheel in a manual. The torque converter is bolted to the flexplate, and so the engines rotation is delivered to the transmission through it. The flexplate also has gear teeth on it which the starter engages to start the engine.

A failed flexplate is pretty much an unlucky event under normal driving conditions, nothing you can really do to prevent it.