The Worst Car Names Ever?

What are the worst car names ever? Well, here’s a top ten list, from Aspire to Yaris, courtesy of our pals over at cars.com.



Do you agree? What worst car names of all time are missing from this list? Remind us of some of those really lousy names from days gone by! Share your suggestions, right here.



Yours in Daihatsu Charades,



Tom and Ray Magliozzi

Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers

The VW Tiguan came from crossing “tiger” with “iguana”.

“Tiger” Woods is changing his fist name to “Cheetah”.

Twotone

Us car manufacturers have pulled some real boners over the years. The AMC Matador did not sell well in Latino countries,such as Puerto Rico, since Matador literally means “killer” in Spanish. San Juan, P.R. has some of the worst trafic fatalities of any major city.

Similarly, Nova (no va!, won’t run in Spanish)
suffered equally!

Ford of England seems to lack imagination; two of their cars, Escort, Focus plus and one I can’t remember the name of, are the names of British girlie magazines. At least it provides good name recognition over there!

Nissan wisely left he Japanese names behind when they started selling their cars in the US.

The Fairlady became the 240Z, the Gloria the Stanza, the Cedric the Maxima, and so on.

P.S. The other “girlie magazine name” from Ford UK is the Fiesta.

I always said the Ford Aspire aspired to be a real car. Similarly, the Toyota Echo is an echo of a real car.

I too thought of the Aspire.
The Echo never evolked any kind of emotion from me whatsoever. Perhaps it just had a hollow “ring” to it.

I’m puzzled as to why Mazda discontinued the Miata name. The Miata is an icon in affordable modern sports cars in the old tradition of the ragtop MGBs and TR4s etc.

Many people believe that the car you drive tells a lot about you. In Japan, they sell a car called the Daihatsu Naked. Please spare me on telling me what driving a naked says about you.

Don’t forget the GM 'Impact." They never produced one, but it’s crazy that they planned on using that name.

I never cared for the name Cavalier. It always sounded too “whatever”.

Nissan 240Z? You mean Datsun 240Z.

Sorry, the devil made me do it.

Dodge Diplomat, Pontiac Parisienne and would you guys really like a Hummer ? Don’t answer that.

Green Goddess: sounds more like salad dressing

Dormobile: What!?

Lucerne: Is this a milk truck?

Y-Job: Thank goodness it was only a concept car

Achieva: I don’t want to think about what this car achieved…

Oldsmobile Curved Dash: What dashboard?

Saab Toad

Conquest: Is it really a conquest if you pay for it?

Hupmobile (1909-1940) never excited much showroom traffic…When it comes to COOL car names, the Italians win hands down. How about “Ferrari Testarosa”…Right away, you know what they are talking about…

The AMC “Pacer” was so underpowered it couldn’t keep pace with anything. I think even a VW bug was faster. Perhaps it could beat a VW Microbus in 0 to 60 drag races but so could just about any city transit bus of the era.

I’ll go back a few years to cars I rode in.

Henry J. - An odd looking little duck that gave everyone a laugh. Maybe the first American compact. But Henry??

Hudson Hornet - More like a Hudson Hog. Look up images of the 1951 Hudson and the 1951 Mercury. It’s a bizarre example of styling that was so near yet so far away. The 51 Hudson was flat ugly. The 51 Mercury is one of the classics. The comparison was not lost on Hudson. In 1952, they tried to make the Hudson look like a 51 Mercury and failed. Never say never. In 1953 they tried again and got a little closer. In 1954, Hudson finally succeeded and made a beautiful 1951 Mercury.

Hudson Wasp - Did they really want to name a car WASP??

There may be a Dodge Elmo some day. The Dodge Dart Swinger is close to awful. Plymouth Belvedere? The GMC Sonoma. A truck Sonoma as opposed to a car Sonoma. The Daihatsu Lanos is pretty lame-o. Porsche 911. There was a car maker named Pope.

Everybody bashed everything about the Edsel back in the day. Most of the cars problem was that it was introduced either during or at the start of a recession. Never the less, people even thought the model names were lame but the names were used years later by other makes.

Edsel Citation, Pacer, Ranger, Villager.
The Bermuda name was not used to my knowledge.

I happen to own a Chrysler Conquest, and yes, it is a conquest- trying to find parts and keep it running. Its sister car isn’t named properly though: Mitsubishi Starion. Rumor has it, it was supposed to be “Stallion” but being Japanese, they couldn’t say the L’s. That’s the rumor anyway.

Also own a Merkur XR4Ti (American version of Ford’s European Sierra). That make name ain’t exactly the best either. I call it The Cur.

And you don’t want to know what my brother calls a Volvo.

My nomination for worst car name: Nissan Murano. Sounds too close to Moron-o.

I’ve got more:

Renault Le Car: I don’t know if “car” means something different in French, but in America, it sounds very uncreative. What’s next, the El Automobile?

Pontiac Torrent: Does “torrent” refer to the torrential abuse GM got for rebadging another vehicle? Or file sharing?

Isuzu P’up: Trucks should have fierce names, not names that sound like little dogs.

Dodge Avenger: What’s it going to avenge? Chrysler’s horrible build quality?

The recession sure didn’t help, but there were other problems. In the 50s people were very class conscious. There were the Plymouth/Dodge/Ford/Chevys who worked for the Pontiac/Mercury/Olds/Buicks who were beholding to the Caddy/Lincolns/Chrysler/Imperials who ran things. So who would I be if I bought an Edsel? Ford wanted Edsel to be in that middle group with Pontiac/Mercury/Olds/Buick. Nobody saw it that way. Buy an Edsel and you stick out as maybe a few cards short of a deck. Nobody wanted to do that. Also, everyone knew it was named for Henry’s son. That didn’t help. The name was considered pretentious upper class. I can remember my Dad’s friends joking about that. Not saying any of those attitudes were right. It was just the way things were.

Asia gets all the best ones.

Geely Beauty Leopard.

That’s a literal dictionary translation of the Chinese. The Chinese doesn’t sound so bad. But they do actually use that name here and there. This isn’t some “bite the wax tadpole” apocryphal bullcrap.

Mazda Carol Me Lady

They make you turn in your penis before they give you the keys.

Asia Rocksta

Ain’t many rock stars driving this Samurai-wannabe.

Toyota Will Cypha

It sounds like the name of a protagonist in a cyberpunk story, and it looks like what he’d drive.